If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
