I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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