He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
