I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
