My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
