sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
