It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
