You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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