found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
