so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
