The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
