An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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