Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
