I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
