There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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