lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
