He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
whose parrot is this?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
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