did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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