I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize