yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
