Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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