How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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