someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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