Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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