you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Your cock deserves a montage
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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