Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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