a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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