how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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