To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
