I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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