We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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