Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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