guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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