Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
