i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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