So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
