So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
ok first of all what the fuck
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
