HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
