Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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