Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
