I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Text me some of your sweat
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
