She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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