Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize