Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
