do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
