I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
