I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
