first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
