Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
