looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
