Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
