I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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