I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize