If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
