i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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