dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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