dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
