if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This toilet bowl is my home.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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