Whod you bang
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
