pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
