Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
