i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize