All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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