if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
