seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
