just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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