i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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