i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
